Goodbye Bulgaria

This is really my excuse to not pack. But I haven't posted in a while, so today seemed like a good time, considering I am leaving tomorrow (well, to Sofia tomorrow and then home on Thursday).

It is cliche to say, but it seems like yesterday that I landed in Sofia with no clue what awaited me. To be frank, I was mortified. I thought I had made a terrible mistake. In fact, when I got accepted for Fulbright, I brushed it aside. Staying in Las Vegas or going to Cornell would have been much easier. Why move to a very foreign country where I don't know the language or couldn't really locate on a map before? And why teach there?

My first view of Sofia

But I'm so glad I made the impulsive decision to move across the world.

I will be honest. This year has been hard. There have been very few easy days, if any. It's incredibly isolating to leave the apartment and not understand anything anyone says. I have never been so lonely, despite having incredible people around me (looking at you, students!). There really is nowhere like home. So many times I wanted to quit and fly back to Memphis. Especially on the first day of school. My feet felt like concrete blocks walking me straight into the unknown. Even mundane things like going to the grocery store or paying electricity bills provoked a newfound sort of anxiety. I felt like an outsider.

The long hallways of EG

But enough whining. Despite being tough, this year has been incredible for too many reasons to list in one blog post.

I got to coach a Speech & Debate team that didn't lose the entire year (and that was because of their work, not mine). I got to see 4 students qualify to compete in the U.S. championship. I got to see 8th graders go from crying at the first tournament to winning the national championship 6 months later.

I got to teach amazing classes from 8th to 12th grade. We did a lot of textbook work, but we also got to do some fun stuff, like mock presidential elections during the primary season.

Speaking of teaching, this is specifically to the 8th graders: you guys were amazing. Maybe it's because you're the same age-group that I taught in the US, but I think it is because you have not become apathetic about school. I hope that does not change. You guys brought so much energy to every class, even on cold and rainy Monday mornings. Please don't change that in 9th grade.

The amazing 8th grade duo 

I was lucky to be travel all around Bulgaria and Europe. I racked up trips to Romania, Serbia, Sweden, Denmark, Austria, Czech Republic, Greece, and Poland. Most of those trips were solo, which taught me a lot about myself and how I can overcome the anxiety that wants me to stay home in bed instead of venturing into the unknown (a metaphor for the whole year, really).

Blagoevgrad was a perfect fit for me. It lies at the foothills of the Rila and Pirin mountains, which means there was a ton of hiking to do. I wish I had taken advantage of that more. It is a town of around 70k people, far smaller than Memphis, DC, Dallas, or Vegas. But it is an amazing city with so much potential, if Bulgaria can find a way to have their graduates stay in Bulgaria instead of fleeing to other countries.

A 45 minute walk from my apartment 

It's hard to imagine moving back to the U.S. I am incredibly excited to go home, don't get me wrong. But I've gotten used to the difficulties and small joys of life here in a small town.

So up next for me is law school, which is terrifying. It's not terrifying because it's law school; it's terrifying because this may be the start of my full-time career. I've become a bit of a wanderer (Vegas and Bulgaria), so the idea of settling down is frightening.

The good thing is that my time in both TFA and Fulbright has radically changed my conception of law school and the type of career I want to lead. I know I won't be satisfied if I become some sort of Wall Street lawyer. My eyes have been opened to many injustices to spend my time helping one company make more money. Luckily, there are many paths within law outside of Wall Street.

As a side note, I know that many people lodge the complaint against TFA (and Fulbright to an extent) that they are just resume builders. Why would I spend 3 years being a teacher when I don't plan on being a teacher forever? It's a fair question. Teacher retention will always be hard, but I don't think that is TFA's fault. I think it runs much deeper.

But for me personally, it's easy to imagine how my mindset would have been different if I had not become a teacher. My plan was to work as a paralegal in DC for a year, take the LSAT, and go straight into law school. I could've accepted those job offers, but thank God I didn't because my perspective would have been skewed. I would have seen life as a race for a better paycheck. That's no longer the case. I will never forget the students that I taught, nor will I forget the struggles many of them had to endure, and that will certainly influence what I do in the future.

I'm looking forward to getting home on Thursday and enjoying my last real summer (law school summers don't count - they are filled with internships and summer associate jobs).

But I'm also sad to be leaving a place I've come to love, mainly because of the people here, specifically the students. You may have hated me at times when we did another vocabulary drill or a listening exercise, but you all were the highlight of my time here. I will miss you terribly, each and every one of you. Please stay in touch!